“Money cannot replace my son.” Stories of women who donated state aid for fallen soldiers to good causes

Firsthand

article by VITA SAKHNIK,

freelancer of the Memorial Remembrance Platform, journalist of the Volyn online publication “Pershyi”

Mariia Peshko is the mother of soldier Ivan Kliuiko, Nataliia Zaitseva is the wife of special services officer Oleh Zaitsev. Both men gave their lives during Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine. The women are strangers to each other, but there is something that unites them – the loss of the beloved one and the way they live through this loss: the two Ukrainian women have donated part of the state aid to charitable projects. Nataliia helped other servicepeople, and Mariia built a sports ground in her native village.

 

“He was born a warrior and knew a great war would come”

The deceased Ivan Kliuiko, 35, was born in the village of Orvianytsia, Rivne region. There he graduated from high school and went to a vocational school, where he obtained two specialties: a mechanic repairing automobile engines and a plasterer. As early as his teenage years, he learned to play the guitar, and since then he has not parted with the instrument for a long time.

In his native Rivne region, he worked as a driver at a bread factory, periodically going to Kyiv to earn money, where he got a job in construction. Later, he went to Poland and worked at a factory. In August 2014, Ivan received a draft notice.

 

"At that moment, almost all of his comrades from the military service were already on the frontline, one of them was killed. That’s why he said: “Mom, I can't be here - I'll go to war,” Mariia Peshko recalls.

After a year and a half on the frontline, the man returned home but was not his usual self. He did not undress for a week and could not sleep.

“He reassessed his values during the war. He said that the lives of relatives and loved ones are the most important thing, material things don’t matter,” Ivan’s mother recalls.

The man decided to “change the situation” and go to work again. It was there that Ivan met his future wife Olha in 2017. The couple got married in a year. At the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, the man came home, but, failing to find an ideal job for himself and returned to the army in 2021. He signed a contract with the 24th separate mechanized brigade named after King Danylo, served near Popasna in the Luhansk region.

“He was very kind and fair. All friends say that there is none like my dear Ivan anymore. He never refused to help,” Mariia recalls.

 

Oleh Zaitsev was born in the city of Zhashkiv, Cherkasy region, and moved to Kyiv at the age of 21. Died aged 48. In civilian life, together with his friends, he managed the enterprise Kraft Chemicals. The company manufactures and supplies products to veterinary and agricultural firms.

The man was an actor at the Dakh Contemporary Arts Theater in Kyiv, where he met his future wife Nataliia.

In 2014, Oleh participated in the Revolution of Dignity. Later, he fought in the east of Ukraine together with several volunteer formations and was a member of the Right Sector.

“For us, the war did not start on February 24. It became only a logical continuation, for which we were ready, as much as it was possible. Since 2014, he knew there would be a full-scale war. He said that ignoring the war would cause more trouble. In the end, the predictions came true,” Nataliia Zaitseva says.

Oleh insisted that his wife and two daughters move abroad. He told them not to return for at least a year.

“Already during the invasion, he and I discussed a lot of ideological things. Oleh said: 'It seems as if you are flying at breakneck speed but in the right direction. A lot of destruction, an apocalyptic landscape, but I have a feeling that we are doing everything right. All of this is for the greater good of Ukraine.' I was very worried about him, but I shared these feelings,” says Natalia.

 

Oleh Zaitsev, she says, was born a soldier and always knew that he would become one: “He is a man of great honor and dignity. He was quick-tempered, but at the same time he knew how to embrace life.” He took part in the defense of Kyiv, and for this he was awarded the 3rd degree Order For Courage during his lifetime.

“I understood that his going to the front was something that was bound to happen. Oleh always said that he could not stand aside, sleep through everything and pass problems on to the new generation,” says Nataliia.

“He asked me not to fall into despair”

Ivan Kliuiko lost his life on April 24, 2022, on Easter, in the village of Katerynivka, Luhansk region. He managed to carry a gravely wounded commander away from the battlefield and came under mortar fire while returning to his position. He incurred shrapnel wounds to his arm and head.

“I didn’t know anything yet, but didn’t want to celebrate Easter or prepare for the holiday either. I wasn’t in the mood. On Monday, the second day of Easter, she went to the military enlistment office to ask that he be given a leave of absence for at least 10 days, having spent more than a year in the war. They said they couldn’t do that. And the next day, the same military enlistment officer brought me the death notification. When he saw me, he was speechless,” says the mother.

The next day after the terrible news, Ivan's body was brought in for farewell.

The woman says that nine days following the death of her son, she began to put his plans into action, doing repairs in the garage and the house. The son’s godfather and her husband’s friend also joined her. Routine work and the presence of people helped Mariia to survive the pain.

“I still communicate with friends who were with him in his final moments. They are given only five days off to see their relatives, and they come to his grave,” she says.

 

On the morning of May 7, Nataliia missed a call from Oleh. She called back later, but failed to get ahold of him. “Usually he would warn me that there might be no connection, but at that time he didn’t do it. I began to worry and ask his acquaintances what had happened. At first, they didn’t tell me because they couldn’t take the body, but then they admitted: Oleh was gone,” says the wife.

The man died from a gunshot wound he incurred during an assault on enemy positions in the south of Ukraine. A few months later, for this operation, Oleh was posthumously awarded the title of Hero of Ukraine and the Order of the Gold Star.

“Oleh’s body was brought to Kyiv in July. Friends who were always there helped us endure the wait: Oleh’s comrades-in-arms from his unit took great care of us,” says Nataliia.

“Money is nothing compared to what I’ve lost”

Mariia Peshko says it was not difficult to receive payments from the state. “The next day after the funeral, I got a call from the military enlistment office: 'Come, we will sign the documents.' They helped me arrange everything there. Ivan was killed in April, and we received the money in August. I didn't ask for it and I didn't push for it: everything happened at its own pace,” the woman says.

15 million hryvnias were divided equally between Ivan’s mother, wife and father. (The latter did not communicate with his son from an early age.)

“This is a huge amount for me. I am a teacher and I have never seen such money, so without hesitation I decided to hand it out, invest it in a good cause. Ivan’s wife also joined in,” says Ivan Kliuiko’s mother.

Not only did Mariia just allocate money for the creation of a sports ground near the school in the village of Orvianytsia, but also joined the work herself, searching for and ordering materials and contractors.

“When people found out who was doing it and for what money, they offered big discounts. All in all, it cost about three million hryvnias, but without discounts it would have been much more expensive. The materials were transported literally from all over Ukraine. We were answering the phone all the time, looking for the right thing and made the sports ground in a month and a half,” the woman says.

 

In the spring, she intends to carry on the work: equip the sports ground with training equipment and plant a park next to it to turn the site into a recreation area for locals.

“When working on the playground, I had dreams about my dear Ivan, he talked to me every night. I can't say I feel better. It will probably never get better… But I have gotten some comfort. It will be a good memory of him,” says the mother.

 

Nataliia Zaitseva also says that receiving aid from the state was not a difficult process:

“The list of necessary documents was provided to us by the lawyer of Oleh’s unit, and we submitted the documents to him. I don’t remember the whole list exactly, but there were copies of passports, birth certificates of children, marriage certificates, the death certificate, taxpayer identification number, bank account details and an application. I submitted documents for myself and my daughters, my parents did the same. We did everything within a week at the beginning of August and received the transfer from the state at the end of September. There were no difficulties in the process.”

15 million hryvnias in aid was divided equally between five family members: wife, two daughters, mother and father, each receiving three million hryvnias.

“One day, I came over to my daughters and said: Girls, here we have such a strange number in the account. Such that you have to count zeros.' The eldest daughter, Lada, 14, answered: 'Let's make a big donation,' says Nataliia.

The family began to look for a fundraising campaign where a significant amount of money was needed. There were many options, but the wife of the fallen soldier responded to the emotional post of volunteer and servicewoman Lesia Lytvynova.

“She couldn’t reveal all the details, but it was clear that this is an important program designed to help boys and girls on the frontline have a better chance of coming home. She asked for one million hryvnias. It touched me, and I transferred 999,999 hryvnias – that’s how much the bank allowed,” says the woman.

 

“Lesia told me exactly what the money would be used for, and I was convinced that these are very necessary things. It is not possible to share the details yet,” says Nataliia.

The wife of the fallen soldier admits: donating money to charity has not eased the pain of loss, but she felt a strong urge to do it. “We are not in Ukraine now, we cannot help in any other way. I understand that going abroad is the right thing, Oleh wanted the children to be safe. However, this is a difficult moment for us. Our family is inseparable from the war that is still going on. We had to join the struggle at least in this way.”

The text has been prepared by the Memorial Remembrance Platform, telling the stories of the Ukrainian military and civilians killed by Russia. To report data on Ukraine’s losses, fill out the forms for deceased servicemen and civilian victims.

Read this article in russian and Ukrainian.